Balance: Myth or Secret Sauce?

myth? monster? or magic?....

The Real Truth About Balance and How to Make It Work for You

There was a time not too long ago where I was well entrenched in the life of rinse and repeat. I would get up before the sun, work my ass off until well past the end of my shift, and come home and collapse into my pyjamas and vegetate the rest of the day away. Then the next day I'd get up and do it all over again. 

Balance—it’s the elusive, often glorified concept we’ve been told is the key to living a fulfilled life. But is balance a realistic goal? Or just another shiny buzzword that leaves us chasing an ideal we’ll never reach? Geez, I've had my fill of those already in this lifetime. 

If you’re a recovering people pleaser like me, you might be feeling the pressure to juggle it all perfectly.  Work, relationships, self-care, and everything between. But here’s the truth. Balance is NOT about perfectly distributing your time and energy like a finely tuned scale. (Like, what does that even MEAN?!) 

It’s about figuring out what works for you, accepting the messiness of life, and giving yourself permission to do things your way.

I know. What a concept, right? 

The Myth of Perfect Balance

Let’s clear something up right now: the idea that balance means equal parts of everything is a myth. Life doesn’t unfold in neat, predictable segments. For some reason, I thought that was true. That was the formula, and was baffled that I couldn't make it come together! 

Like I mentioned before, I was barely holding it together and striving for this thing called "balance" but the truth is, is that I only had two ingredients in my world. Work (which became my focus and priority) and home life. I had no hobbies. I saw my friends occasionally when I had the energy to muster up a social visit. But no personal goals. No variety in life. No travel or adventure. No growth in learning a new skill...nothin. So this whole concept of balance seemed even more foreign and unattainable because I could barely hold it together with TWO things on my plate. 

Because the truth is, some days you’ll be crushing it at work. And other days you’ll need extra time to focus on self-care, friendships, or just...resting. Balance is less about rigid structure and more about flow. It's about knowing how to check and adjust when life throws you a curveball (and lord knows it will...) and being okay with it.

Here’s the kicker: striving for that picture-perfect version of balance often leads to guilt and burnout. EW. Gross. Tried it. Do not recommend. Zero stars. 

When you’re measuring your success against an ideal that’s unrealistic, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. This is where mindset comes in. 

The Mindset Shift: Embrace Flexibility and Grace

Let's try something new. To approach balance in a healthier way, start by letting go of the idea that you need to do everything all the time. When we put it that way, it does sound a little ridiculous, amiright? 

A more helpful mindset is one of flexibility! Being able to tap into what you need in the moment and honouring that without self-judgment. (That may be the sticky part, so heads up.) This could mean saying no to a social invitation when you need rest. (That's what we call a boundary!)...or temporarily putting a hobby on hold while you focus on a pressing goal. (Because your goals are important!) Balance doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s version, and it certainly doesn’t need to be static. It’s dynamic, shifting with the seasons of your life. That's so important I'm going to say it again: 

YOU DECIDE WHAT BALANCE LOOKS LIKE FOR YOU! 

Finding Your Rhythm: What Works Best for You?

Here’s a little story. Once upon a time, I used to believe that balance meant fitting every activity I deemed important into my day. Every day. I crammed in work, workouts, self-care routines, socializing, and hobbies until I was completely drained. Eventually, I realized that balance isn’t about doing everything every day. It’s about knowing what your priorities are in the moment and being okay with letting some things go. Flexxxxibility!!!!! Giving yourself PERMISSION to be flexible is a game changer. 

The key is finding your own rhythm. This starts with understanding your true priorities. What genuinely adds value to your life and well-being? 

Maybe for you, balance means a slower start to the day so you can feel centred before diving into work. I learned this after discovering that waiting until the end of the day for any "me time" was counter-productive. It meant that my "me time" was spent exhausted, uninterested, and totally useless because I had already given all my best stuff away! So now I have 4 things I MUST do for myself before anything else gets done. That way if my day goes sideways, I have a guaranteed protected time to fill my own cup. 

Maybe it’s setting aside dedicated time for creativity or making room for spontaneous moments with loved ones. The point is, it’s not about squeezing in more—it’s about aligning your daily choices with what genuinely matters to you. Giving yourself permission to set these priorities will help guide your choices and ultimately pave the way for more fulfilling days because your actions will be aligned with YOU and YOUR GOALS! (What a concept!)

Dismantling the Myths

One of the biggest myths about balance is that once you find it, everything will just click into place. In reality, balance is an ongoing practice. It requires regular check-ins with yourself and the willingness to shift gears as your needs change. That's right. Deviating from the plan seems like a fail, but it's actually a WIN. It means that you're tuned into your own needs and serving yourself and not the plan. Remember to keep yourself at the heart of this equation! 

Another myth? That finding balance means never feeling overwhelmed or stressed. Life is unpredictable, and some seasons will be more demanding than others. Balance isn’t about avoiding these challenges—it’s about giving yourself the grace to navigate them with patience and self-compassion. This part of the mindset can be tricky, because if you're basically over 20 years old, you've been educated. Conditioned. These definitions (of balance and rituals) have been defined and engrained in such a way that if we deviate, we feel like we've failed. 

I'm here to say that's horseshit. You're welcome! 

We get to make the rules! So when you're mindset is flexible and adaptable so that your actions are aligned with your wellness - you literally can't lose. Only wins from here on out my friend. 

Patience, Grace, and Motivation

Building new habits or routines to create more balance in your life takes time, and that’s okay. The journey isn’t linear. You’ll have days when everything flows smoothly and days when it feels like nothing is going right. This is where grace and patience come in. Be kind to yourself when things don’t go according to plan. Progress happens over time, not overnight.

When you’re working on new routines, remember that motivation comes from giving yourself permission to experiment and adjust as needed. You don’t have to stick rigidly to something that isn’t serving you. Balance is personal and customizable—there’s no one-size-fits-all formula.

Tips for Achieving Your Version of Balance

1. Identify Your Non-Negotiables: What are the core things that make you feel grounded, happy, and at peace? Build your routines around these, knowing that they might shift over time.

2. Embrace “Good Enough”: Let go of the need for everything to be perfect. Sometimes getting things done is better than getting them done perfectly.

3. Check In Regularly: Your needs and priorities will change. Make it a habit to check in with yourself—weekly, monthly, or whenever it feels right—to see what adjustments you need to make.

4. Be Gentle With Yourself: Self-compassion is key. When you feel off-balance, instead of criticizing yourself, ask what you need in that moment.

5. Celebrate the Small Wins: Balance isn’t about grand gestures. Celebrate the small shifts that help you feel more aligned and at ease in your day-to-day life.

Balance: The Secret Sauce?

In the end, the big take away here is that balance isn’t a fixed state or a finish line you cross. 

It’s more like a dance—sometimes you lead, sometimes life leads you. When we know this, we can be better prepared for when life throws out the script and we have to improvise. The ACTUAL secret sauce is giving yourself permission to create balance in a way that feels right for you, letting go of unrealistic expectations, and treating yourself with the same kindness you offer to others. 

The more you embrace your unique rhythm, the more you’ll see that balance isn’t something you find—it’s something you create, moment by moment. You've now got permission to make it look however serves you best. You make the rules. 

So have fun with it as you go ahead and rework things in your life! You're the CEO of your life, and you get to dictate what it looks like. Remember that. No one's coming to check your work, but the world will be able to see when you're operating in alignment with what's most important to you. Little by little, mindfully and with loving awareness...you'll get there. 

Good luck! And make it fun. 

XOXO STEPH